Decisions Made and Decisions Thought About

Life lately has been hectic for me. Not enough sleep, not eating well enough or even enough. I am tired almost every single day and now I am fighting off something. Ugh! I am not getting enough anything to actually make myself feel better. Taking my prenatal vitamins and drinking OJ everyday to try and kick what ever this is out. I am trying to deal with this like an adult, but honestly all I wanna do is pitch a fit and take a nap! Apparently being an adult is lost on me.

I feel like a total loser because hubby has worked like 69 hours already this pay period and I am so exhausted that I can’t even remember normal things like name, rank and serial number. I wanna beg him for one day that I can just sleep and not have any responsibilities, but I feel that would be so very unfair as he has worked all week as well. Sigh. No help near by either. His family is in California and mine, well, they are not speaking to me.

I am so sorry for my whiny tone, but I am sick. I am tired. If you were looking for a intelligent blog post, well, maybe tomorrow or the day after that. I have been thinking about homeschooling Jeff when he gets old enough to go to pre school (which is about 2 years old depending on the kid). I keep seeing and hearing about how horrible the school system is and honestly with my first son and all the learning issues he went through and all I went though to help him get the help he needed, I would just love to bypass all that garbage this time.

So, far all his family has been wonderful about our decision to do this. I do have a plan, mostly I will home school preschool and pre Kindergarten and if that works out well, then I will continue on. My goal is to never have to enroll him in public schools and honestly with all the horrible violence and crap going on in the school systems these days, this seems like the more safer and intelligent option. I am trying to be the best mom I can be and give my son the best education I can.

Life is sure different these days! Hubby may have to have surgery to reconstruct his ACL, okay not only reconstruct but actually add another one. He hurt himself nine years ago in the Active duty Army and they did NOTHING to fix it. So, now he has NO ACL. He has scar tissue where it is supposed to be. He has reinjured it multiple times and nothing was ever done until now. He will be fitted with an ACL brace and then the options will be given to him. Our best scenario plan is he has surgery and continues in the military. The other option is for him to be medically discharged.

We have money options for both to consider. So lots going on here! I have missed blogging but never have much time to actually sit down and write. I am trying to make time for me to do the things I love so I won’t go crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, but honestly, I am still adjusting to this new life. Jeff is now 5 months old and progressing so very quickly! He is amazing every single day. It blows me away!

Well, I am going to run for now..

-Ciao!

Big Changes

So, since Sunday my life has turned upside down! I can not believe that I now have a son. He is amazingly perfect and I have not really ever felt so bonded with a child in my life! I just look at him sometimes and I am amazed that he is mine. I have a second chance that I have wanted to prove that I am a good mom. Yeah, I made mistakes with my other kids and I know I will make mistakes with him, but I think I am more able to handle being a mom now than I was then.  I have more patience now and I have more experience under my belt as well. 

I have been back and forth to the doctor with him since we got him out of the hospital. I actually have to go back today at 3:15. He is jaundiced and had to stay an extra night to do light therapy. He still looks rather yellow and they did another blood test yesterday. The number was way under the light therapy limit, but up from when we left the hospital.

I am trying to breast feed him, but because I had to leave him in the hospital they supplemented with formula and gave him a pacifier. Which when you are trying to teach your baby to breast feed, they are not really supposed to have. So, now I am seeing a lactation nurse to help him to relearn to breast feed. Before he had to do light therapy he was breast feeding like a rock star!

To say that it is frustrating it an understatement. I am going to work on it. My soon to be in-laws are amazing! They are so wonderful and have sent so much to Jeff already. Tonight we are supposed to Skype with them so they can see him. They live in California, so it is not like they are close. Hopefully the doctor appointment goes well today. I am so tired of going there already!

I have my own appointment next month to get checked out. He was born breach, so that was hard on mom’s body. Michael was here when he was born as he was in a hurry to get here and was born at home! No drugs! So I feel after that, I can do anything… Well, I need to run..

-Ciao

Lots Been Happening

I have not been around lately because well, let’s face it, life has a way of happening and screwing up the best laid plans. There is something that I heard that has always rang true for me and that is “Man plans, God laughs”. If that is true, then I must have been truly hilarious lately. An update on the issues with the construction stuff going on, the roofing company has said that they are not responsible for the over $1,000 electric bill we are looking at now with all the late fees and charges. I am inclined to believe them because they were only here for a week or so. The siding company however, is another story altogether. Apparently they have been plugging into vacant apartments and running up $100 bills there. Of course they are denying that they are doing it. Seriously. Now, they are saying that the meters for the electric company must be wrong. So the property management company for this place had a tech come out this morning to look at the meters to make sure they are okay. In any case, if the meters are damaged, it is their fault because they have been around pulling siding off and replacing it. They messed up the outside socket for the electric for this apartment and they messed up the light right outside the front door too. Need I say more?

Personally, I think that they are just trying to get out of paying the bill that they created. I am waiting to hear what the outcome of the meter inspection is as of now. I am contemplating complaining about this company to the local BBB. I want people to know what kind of company these people are. I am tired of dealing with this and I am so over it!!

Other than that, it has been pretty good here except that we both were sick. That was a trial, but better now finally. We had some issues with money because of all the electric bill issues. They are back under control now and thanks to Army Boy’s parents who helped us a great deal, it is all taken care of. Which makes me happy. All of this crap has made my PTSD worst and honestly I was not on FB or really even talking to anyone much. I had nothing to say. It was hard getting through all that.

Army Boy has gotten me back into WoW (World of War craft) So, I have been there playing a lot lately. It is nice to take out my frustration on things to kill in the game. I am sleeping better some days. Which is helpful. Well, I am going to run.

-Ciao!

Sick

Since the weather was nice Tuesday we are back to cold and grey here in Kentucky. The problem with this is that now both Army Boy and I are sick. He is worst off than me at this point, but it is hard to deal with. I was up until 5am this morning taking care of him. I do this willingly because he does it for me as well.

The other bad thing, is that dealing with the cold, really hurts me because I have arthritis in my knees, back, hips, ankles and feet. So when it gets cold, I have trouble with stiffness and everything is sore. I hate it but I deal because well, I don’t really have much of a choice there. LOL.

Some of my new reality is that my body does not regulate temperature like it should at the moment. It has only happened a handful of times so far, with of course today being one of those days. So, I am in sweat pants, socks, and clothes to keep me warm for now. I also just turned the heat up to 73. Normally because our place is so small, we keep it at 71. Today will be a battle for sure. I am going to try and make chicken noodle soup for dinner. Not the kind from a can either. I have some left over chicken and since it is so chilly out and neither one of us is feeling well, sounds like a good dinner.

Last night I had a grilled ham and cheese that Army Boy made. He makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches! I had some left over cheesy garlic mashed potatoes for lunch. They were good, but since I am not feeling well, I only had a little bit. I am so tired still because I was up at like 9:30am with Army Boy getting ready for school. So, soon it will be nap time.

-Ciao!

A Better Day

Yesterday ( today to me because I have not really been to sleep as of yet) was a much better day for us than Monday. Army Boy got to his classes on time and it was sunny out for once. The issue that I now see is that we will have to get a desk for the living room for him to do his homework at. Right now we are both wireless and in the bed room where the TV is. That is the major issue. While I can multi task and work with the TV on he can’t. He is distracted. So I see I will have to move him out to the other room.

Tomorrow is his longest day, 2 classes and his lab for anatomy. The other speed bump we hit is that his lap top does not have Microsoft Office on it. In fact, I have the disk, but can’t put it on his lap top period, because it does not have a disk drive. So, being the wonderful wife I am, I put it back on my lap top and told him that when he needed to use it he could just grab my lap top and use Office.

At least for now anyway. The last few days have been crazy and I am looking forward to getting into a routine of some kind. My sleeping patterns are all over the map and I am really getting tired of it. Army Boy made dinner tonight, which was French toast. I ate and it was good. By 11pm I was tired, so we went to bed. I woke up a bit before 3am and now of course can’t go back to sleep yet. Ugh. Although I am yawning as I write this so maybe there is hope.

There are winter advisories for my state but not in my area, which tells me that soon the bottom will be falling out of the nice weather here. Eh, no matter. It is winter after all. I am thinking of making my own herb garden, but most likely will not do this until Spring. I saw something on Face book on how to make a mason jar herb garden and since I have a window sill in the bed room that is pretty much free, I was thinking about it.

Well, I think I am going to attempt to sleep some more. Army Boy doesn’t have to be in class until 3:30pm and I have some stuff I need to get printed for him anyway.

-Ciao!

Bad Day

Today was the worst day that I have had in a very long time! Whatever could go wrong today did. Seriously. Army Boy missed orientation for his job then they told him that his security clearance thing was not done, which it was. I watched him input all the information on the website. He came home and could not get on that site to look at it . Apparently he lost his password and the recover password was not working for him.

Then he missed his first class today. Ugh. He missed half of the second class and ended up going to a lab he was not scheduled for. Sigh. Not to mention it rained so much today so he was wet all day long. I felt so inept to help him and I hate that feeling.

He has two classes tomorrow/today starting at 12:30pm. I am hoping that it is better for him. I had a very bad night and it translated into a a very bad day. I made dinner at least, so that is a plus. I can’t sleep because of the pain again. Ugh. I hate that. I am going to leave you with the video for the song of this entry.

Looking at a Crazy Weekend and Week

Our lives this weekend will be somewhat crazy as opposed to all the other weekends of the month which will be usual. Army Boy is in the National Guard and this weekend is his Drill weekend. So, he will be getting up EARLY to go to the Armory and spend the day there Saturday and Sunday. He does get paid for that and it does help out with the bills and such. Then on Monday, he has his orientation for his new job and on that same day is his first day of school! Crazy!

I am so proud of him for doing the school thing. He has been having issues getting enrolled and dealing with the red tape of using his veterans benefits for school. Now that we finally navigated that mine field and he is not only enrolled but starting classes, it has been worth all the frustration and irritation.

He has wanted to be a nurse for a while now and now his dream is coming true and I am happy and proud of him. I know what it is like to chase your dreams academically because I have done that. I have 2 degrees in psychology myself.

So this next week looks to be crazy until he gets into the swing of things with school and work. He knows I will be helping him as much as I can with school work. He has to take a intro psychology class , reading, and writing class. Those I can help with. His biology class and lab, yeah I am useless. LOL.

Well, I am going to run.

-Ciao!

Good News Finally

I am glad to finally have a decently happy entry to write! My health issues get me down sometimes and it is hard to deal with day after day. Yesterday was a good day and we got great news in the mail! Army Boy has enrolled in school to become a nurse, so his Post 9/11 bill, which is similar to the GI Bill, I thought it was not going to be processed for like 90 days which would put us into March. Turns out, it has been processed and not only that, this will cover rent for the duration of his schooling! Which is a load off my mind for sure.

He is starting a new job on Monday and the rent has been paid for January anyway, but I was still worried because we still had electric, cable and water to deal with. Which is already been taken care of as of now.

I talked Army Boy into buying a pair of New Balance walking shoes. He was looking at a pair that was $30 at Walmart, but since his new job will have him on his feet a lot, not to mention his Drill stuff for the National Guard, I thought a decent pair of shoes were in order for him. I only buy and wear New Balance myself because they are great shoes and I have feet issues. I love them and they have never let me down.

This morning at 7:45 AM the construction guys were here banging their ladders around. Ugh. This is honestly getting to be a bit ridiculous to me. 7:45AM?!?! Really?!?! So needless to say I was not really happy about that. Don’t get me wrong, I know they have a job to do, but I am tired of them being way noisy and the ‘quiet’ hours here don’t end until 8AM anyway. Not that 15 minutes makes a big difference apparently.

I am so tired today because I had a not so good night with pain again. This is getting really old fast. I think a nap is in order soon. Gonna run.

-ciao!

The Last Few Days

The last few days have been seriously trying for me. Well us. First let me say that I have the most amazing husband in the entire world!! Last night was a horrible night for me. I was having some serious pain not only in my hips like usual, but my right knee had gone out on me a few days before and had been extremely painful and I almost got stuck in the tub because I could not put weight on it the other night. Sigh. I love sitting in the tub reading because it is peaceful for me.

Last night, I could not get to sleep because I was in so much pain and I had heartburn to burn down Texas! My hubby, who was very tired, stayed awake and rubbed my hips and knee until I was sleeping peacefully. Then he had to work tonight and went to work anyway even though he was exhausted. I really do love that man of mine.

I woke up this morning and my knee did not hurt, which was wonderful news but my hips were still painful. I am exhausted because I could not sleep last night and the workers were here today banging and so forth. Ugh. I am trying hard to stay positive during all this but some days it is hard to do. I feel horrible because Army Boy is totally exhausted and at work. The good news with that is that he got his letter from the doctor today saying he is good to go to work at the VA. His orientation starts on the 13th and school starts that day as well. So things are coming together for him!

He is studying to be a nurse, which given my health issues is probably a really great choice. New Year’s here was quiet as we stayed home, which was fine with me. Except for the fireworks at midnight it was blessedly quiet around here. The fireworks I was not expecting and of course set the PTSD off some. Ugh. I got through it but it was not really easy.

So, this new year, I did not really make any resolutions. I never keep them anyway. I am trying to make a commitment to eat better, which is hard for me. I am Southern and the kinds of food I love are fried. Plus I am a horrible junk food junkie. I have been doing pretty well. The other night we had pizza, but it was a BBQ chicken pizza and I had only 3 slices. I also had a chicken salad for dinner that night. Although I did splurge some and had some mozzarella cheese sticks. Those are my weakness! Tonight I had vegetable soup for dinner with some crackers and peanut butter. I have been snacking on raw celery and carrots as well as some plain popcorn.

I am a salty snacker. I don’t eat a lot of sweets unless I am craving them.  I know the key to anything is moderation. Normally I do not have an issue with that except for chips. You know that old commercial, ‘Bet you can’t eat just one’? Yeah unless they are talking bags, they are right! LOL. I am also making an effort to drink more water. My issue with water is that it is boring! Those additives like Mio and such, they have aftertastes that I do not like much, makes them taste like cough syrup.  I also like my water cold. My Army Boy doesn’t. So I have to add ice and since we don’t have a filter on the freezer, I can taste the chlorine in the tap water in the ice. Ugh. I have a Brita pitcher for the water and I have had it for years. I totally love it and recommend it.

I am thinking about getting a filter for the sink faucet as well. When Army Boy was in the Army, he was a Water Dog, which means he was dealing with water for his unit of they got deployed. He was in charge of drinking water and getting it filtered correctly. So, it helps now. LOL.

Well, I am going to go. I am tired.

-Ciao!

Christmas

I hope that everyone had a good and safe holiday. We did here. It was quiet, thank heavens. They are currently replacing all the outside paneling on all the buildings in my complex and of course that is not a quiet job what so ever. The issue I have with it, is that the workers just plug what ever they want into the outside outlets and have at it. Which is how we ended up with a $500 electric bill for this month. To say that we were astonished would be an understatement!! We called the electric company and he took the bill to the office immediately because well, A. we can not afford that! and B. I felt like since it was not our usage why should we pay for it? According to the office here, they are not supposed to use ANY of the outlets at all for anything. But of course the workmen do what they want.

They are here at sun up and start making all kinds of noise not long after that. Sigh. I can not wait until they are finished and move on to another building because with all the hammering, power saws, radios, loud conversations, and other various noises it makes it very hard to get any sleep what so ever!

On the good news side, the VA contacted Army Boy about the job and he went to do the physical and finger printing thing. Just waiting on the background check and the letter from the doctor saying he can do the job because of his knee. School for him starts January 13th and he is looking forward to it. So am I honestly.

Of course I did too much on Christmas day and paid for it dearly the next few days. Army Boy’s parents sent me some money for my birthday that was in October and I got a back support pillow that I have been needing and got that the day after Christmas, which is nice. I totally love it! Makes using my computer in bed so much easier for sure!

We also got his pain pills so that helps as well. For us both. I am still having massive amounts of pain, but the pills help some at least. They also help me sleep, which is also a very good thing. Tomorrow is Sunday and the workmen hopefully will be gone and Army Boy is working tonight, so he will be able to sleep at least.

I am going to run, I need to eat something.

-Ciao!