Decisions Made and Decisions Thought About

Life lately has been hectic for me. Not enough sleep, not eating well enough or even enough. I am tired almost every single day and now I am fighting off something. Ugh! I am not getting enough anything to actually make myself feel better. Taking my prenatal vitamins and drinking OJ everyday to try and kick what ever this is out. I am trying to deal with this like an adult, but honestly all I wanna do is pitch a fit and take a nap! Apparently being an adult is lost on me.

I feel like a total loser because hubby has worked like 69 hours already this pay period and I am so exhausted that I can’t even remember normal things like name, rank and serial number. I wanna beg him for one day that I can just sleep and not have any responsibilities, but I feel that would be so very unfair as he has worked all week as well. Sigh. No help near by either. His family is in California and mine, well, they are not speaking to me.

I am so sorry for my whiny tone, but I am sick. I am tired. If you were looking for a intelligent blog post, well, maybe tomorrow or the day after that. I have been thinking about homeschooling Jeff when he gets old enough to go to pre school (which is about 2 years old depending on the kid). I keep seeing and hearing about how horrible the school system is and honestly with my first son and all the learning issues he went through and all I went though to help him get the help he needed, I would just love to bypass all that garbage this time.

So, far all his family has been wonderful about our decision to do this. I do have a plan, mostly I will home school preschool and pre Kindergarten and if that works out well, then I will continue on. My goal is to never have to enroll him in public schools and honestly with all the horrible violence and crap going on in the school systems these days, this seems like the more safer and intelligent option. I am trying to be the best mom I can be and give my son the best education I can.

Life is sure different these days! Hubby may have to have surgery to reconstruct his ACL, okay not only reconstruct but actually add another one. He hurt himself nine years ago in the Active duty Army and they did NOTHING to fix it. So, now he has NO ACL. He has scar tissue where it is supposed to be. He has reinjured it multiple times and nothing was ever done until now. He will be fitted with an ACL brace and then the options will be given to him. Our best scenario plan is he has surgery and continues in the military. The other option is for him to be medically discharged.

We have money options for both to consider. So lots going on here! I have missed blogging but never have much time to actually sit down and write. I am trying to make time for me to do the things I love so I won’t go crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, but honestly, I am still adjusting to this new life. Jeff is now 5 months old and progressing so very quickly! He is amazing every single day. It blows me away!

Well, I am going to run for now..

-Ciao!

Advertisements

Big Changes

Jeffery MichaelSo, since Sunday my life has turned upside down! I can not believe that I now have a son. He is amazingly perfect and I have not really ever felt so bonded with a child in my life! I just look at him sometimes and I am amazed that he is mine. I have a second chance that I have wanted to prove that I am a good mom. Yeah, I made mistakes with my other kids and I know I will make mistakes with him, but I think I am more able to handle being a mom now than I was then.  I have more patience now and I have more experience under my belt as well. 

I have been back and forth to the doctor with him since we got him out of the hospital. I actually have to go back today at 3:15. He is jaundiced and had to stay an extra night to do light therapy. He still looks rather yellow and they did another blood test yesterday. The number was way under the light therapy limit, but up from when we left the hospital.

I am trying to breast feed him, but because I had to leave him in the hospital they supplemented with formula and gave him a pacifier. Which when you are trying to teach your baby to breast feed, they are not really supposed to have. So, now I am seeing a lactation nurse to help him to relearn to breast feed. Before he had to do light therapy he was breast feeding like a rock star!

To say that it is frustrating it an understatement. I am going to work on it. My soon to be in-laws are amazing! They are so wonderful and have sent so much to Jeff already. Tonight we are supposed to Skype with them so they can see him. They live in California, so it is not like they are close. Hopefully the doctor appointment goes well today. I am so tired of going there already!

I have my own appointment next month to get checked out. He was born breach, so that was hard on mom’s body. Michael was here when he was born as he was in a hurry to get here and was born at home! No drugs! So I feel after that, I can do anything… Well, I need to run..

-Ciao

Lots Been Happening

I have not been around lately because well, let’s face it, life has a way of happening and screwing up the best laid plans. There is something that I heard that has always rang true for me and that is “Man plans, God laughs”. If that is true, then I must have been truly hilarious lately. An update on the issues with the construction stuff going on, the roofing company has said that they are not responsible for the over $1,000 electric bill we are looking at now with all the late fees and charges. I am inclined to believe them because they were only here for a week or so. The siding company however, is another story altogether. Apparently they have been plugging into vacant apartments and running up $100 bills there. Of course they are denying that they are doing it. Seriously. Now, they are saying that the meters for the electric company must be wrong. So the property management company for this place had a tech come out this morning to look at the meters to make sure they are okay. In any case, if the meters are damaged, it is their fault because they have been around pulling siding off and replacing it. They messed up the outside socket for the electric for this apartment and they messed up the light right outside the front door too. Need I say more?

Personally, I think that they are just trying to get out of paying the bill that they created. I am waiting to hear what the outcome of the meter inspection is as of now. I am contemplating complaining about this company to the local BBB. I want people to know what kind of company these people are. I am tired of dealing with this and I am so over it!!

Other than that, it has been pretty good here except that we both were sick. That was a trial, but better now finally. We had some issues with money because of all the electric bill issues. They are back under control now and thanks to Army Boy’s parents who helped us a great deal, it is all taken care of. Which makes me happy. All of this crap has made my PTSD worst and honestly I was not on FB or really even talking to anyone much. I had nothing to say. It was hard getting through all that.

Army Boy has gotten me back into WoW (World of War craft) So, I have been there playing a lot lately. It is nice to take out my frustration on things to kill in the game. I am sleeping better some days. Which is helpful. Well, I am going to run.

-Ciao!

Sick

Since the weather was nice Tuesday we are back to cold and grey here in Kentucky. The problem with this is that now both Army Boy and I are sick. He is worst off than me at this point, but it is hard to deal with. I was up until 5am this morning taking care of him. I do this willingly because he does it for me as well.

The other bad thing, is that dealing with the cold, really hurts me because I have arthritis in my knees, back, hips, ankles and feet. So when it gets cold, I have trouble with stiffness and everything is sore. I hate it but I deal because well, I don’t really have much of a choice there. LOL.

Some of my new reality is that my body does not regulate temperature like it should at the moment. It has only happened a handful of times so far, with of course today being one of those days. So, I am in sweat pants, socks, and clothes to keep me warm for now. I also just turned the heat up to 73. Normally because our place is so small, we keep it at 71. Today will be a battle for sure. I am going to try and make chicken noodle soup for dinner. Not the kind from a can either. I have some left over chicken and since it is so chilly out and neither one of us is feeling well, sounds like a good dinner.

Last night I had a grilled ham and cheese that Army Boy made. He makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches! I had some left over cheesy garlic mashed potatoes for lunch. They were good, but since I am not feeling well, I only had a little bit. I am so tired still because I was up at like 9:30am with Army Boy getting ready for school. So, soon it will be nap time.

-Ciao!

A Better Day

Yesterday ( today to me because I have not really been to sleep as of yet) was a much better day for us than Monday. Army Boy got to his classes on time and it was sunny out for once. The issue that I now see is that we will have to get a desk for the living room for him to do his homework at. Right now we are both wireless and in the bed room where the TV is. That is the major issue. While I can multi task and work with the TV on he can’t. He is distracted. So I see I will have to move him out to the other room.

Tomorrow is his longest day, 2 classes and his lab for anatomy. The other speed bump we hit is that his lap top does not have Microsoft Office on it. In fact, I have the disk, but can’t put it on his lap top period, because it does not have a disk drive. So, being the wonderful wife I am, I put it back on my lap top and told him that when he needed to use it he could just grab my lap top and use Office.

At least for now anyway. The last few days have been crazy and I am looking forward to getting into a routine of some kind. My sleeping patterns are all over the map and I am really getting tired of it. Army Boy made dinner tonight, which was French toast. I ate and it was good. By 11pm I was tired, so we went to bed. I woke up a bit before 3am and now of course can’t go back to sleep yet. Ugh. Although I am yawning as I write this so maybe there is hope.

There are winter advisories for my state but not in my area, which tells me that soon the bottom will be falling out of the nice weather here. Eh, no matter. It is winter after all. I am thinking of making my own herb garden, but most likely will not do this until Spring. I saw something on Face book on how to make a mason jar herb garden and since I have a window sill in the bed room that is pretty much free, I was thinking about it.

Well, I think I am going to attempt to sleep some more. Army Boy doesn’t have to be in class until 3:30pm and I have some stuff I need to get printed for him anyway.

-Ciao!

Bad Day

Today was the worst day that I have had in a very long time! Whatever could go wrong today did. Seriously. Army Boy missed orientation for his job then they told him that his security clearance thing was not done, which it was. I watched him input all the information on the website. He came home and could not get on that site to look at it . Apparently he lost his password and the recover password was not working for him.

Then he missed his first class today. Ugh. He missed half of the second class and ended up going to a lab he was not scheduled for. Sigh. Not to mention it rained so much today so he was wet all day long. I felt so inept to help him and I hate that feeling.

He has two classes tomorrow/today starting at 12:30pm. I am hoping that it is better for him. I had a very bad night and it translated into a a very bad day. I made dinner at least, so that is a plus. I can’t sleep because of the pain again. Ugh. I hate that. I am going to leave you with the video for the song of this entry.

Looking at a Crazy Weekend and Week

Our lives this weekend will be somewhat crazy as opposed to all the other weekends of the month which will be usual. Army Boy is in the National Guard and this weekend is his Drill weekend. So, he will be getting up EARLY to go to the Armory and spend the day there Saturday and Sunday. He does get paid for that and it does help out with the bills and such. Then on Monday, he has his orientation for his new job and on that same day is his first day of school! Crazy!

I am so proud of him for doing the school thing. He has been having issues getting enrolled and dealing with the red tape of using his veterans benefits for school. Now that we finally navigated that mine field and he is not only enrolled but starting classes, it has been worth all the frustration and irritation.

He has wanted to be a nurse for a while now and now his dream is coming true and I am happy and proud of him. I know what it is like to chase your dreams academically because I have done that. I have 2 degrees in psychology myself.

So this next week looks to be crazy until he gets into the swing of things with school and work. He knows I will be helping him as much as I can with school work. He has to take a intro psychology class , reading, and writing class. Those I can help with. His biology class and lab, yeah I am useless. LOL.

Well, I am going to run.

-Ciao!