Why I Feel Parenting is a Lost Art

First of all, let me say up front that these are my opinions and I am sure I will get attacked for them such as they are. Secondly, please read this with an open mind and think about the things I talk about here before you openly attack me. 

So, last week the internet was set on fire by the mother that went down to the riots and basically had a ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’ with her son in front of the press, other rioters, God, and everybody. She was and still is being hailed a hero. I have to admit, I am one of those in that camp. Let me explain why before you get the matches and gasoline out to set me a blaze. First of all, her son is 16, he clearly should know better than to be in that mess, let alone wearing a mask and picking up a brick to throw at the cops. Secondly, if you have seen any interview she has given and let me tell you she has been everywhere! She said she saw her son on TV with a brick in his hand and she ‘lost it’. And thirdly and most telling to me, she said she did not want her son to become a Freddie Grey. So, she went down there, got his attention, and removed him from a situation that could have ended his life in more than one way. If that had been my only son, I would have most likely done the same exact thing! The first thing I thought when I saw the videos of her was that is what parenting looks like! I know that is what it looked like in my day had I done something like her son did.

These days, we do not teach our kids important things anymore. Things such as sportsmanship and losing gracefully because we no longer score our kids athletic games because we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if they happen to lose the game. I was a cheerleader for flag football when I was in elementary school, back when we actually kept score. If our team lost we had to still go out on the field and shake hands and say good game. Yeah it sucks when you lose, no one likes it. It also makes you work harder to win next time. We had cheer competitions at the end of the season,where all the cheer leading teams worked on two routines to perform. Let me tell you, we worked our butts off perfecting those! The first year I did this, we lost. We were not even in the top 5. Yeah that hurt and yeah I cried, but I also worked harder in the off season and all during the next year and the result was we won that next year because we worked harder. Because losing sucks.

We also have parents who want to be their kids’ friends and not the parent. I am sorry but this rarely works. You need to discipline your kid if they do wrong, not be their friend. I am not saying that the discipline needs to be physical such as spanking or what not, it just needs to be done. What ever works for you and your kid. Here is my issue within this area, I hate it when people come down on someone because they still believe in spanking. Here is the thing, the kids are different and it might work for you to talk to little Johnny about what he did wrong and he may never do that again. Good for you. That may not work for someone else and their kid. It is not fair to criticize parents for how they decide to discipline their kid. Now if it is over the top and that kid constantly has bruises and such then yeah that is something else, but because you see a mom spank her kid who is throwing a fit in the grocery store parking lot does not mean that you need to call the authorities on that mom. You have no idea what that mom’s life is like or what the situation is other than what you saw. Back to being your kid’s friend. You can be your kid’s friend when they grow up and realize what you went through with them, but for the time being please be a parent.

I am not sure about you, but when I go to a public place like a restaurant or even the WIC office and I see kids running wild around the parents are busy talking or with their faces in their phones, I sometimes want to ask them what is wrong with you? Do you not see your kid running wild in a place where they should be sitting or even playing quietly? Yeah, I have kids before you ask. I have a son that is 20 and a daughter that is 17 and now a 1 year old. So before you start saying, you have no idea what you are talking about, yeah I do. My kids were never allowed to run wild someplace unless it was a park. In fact, I have had people stop by our table when out to eat complimenting me on my kids’ behavior and in one case this elderly gentleman gave both my kids a dollar each for behaving! He said to me, it is rare to see kids so well behaved, thank you. I was honestly shocked and very pleased! So, I know it can be done. Parents have to put down the phones and other electronics first and watch their kids. I am not by any means a perfect parent. I don’t think that there is such a thing. We all have our trials and issues.

Entitlement. This gets me every single time. Kids these days think they are entitled to everything without working for it. That is what makes brats and bullies. When parents do everything for their kids, their kids feel like they don’t have to do anything. We are sending a whole generation of people into the world who have no clue how to do anything for themselves. Mom and dad always did it. Gotta find a job? No problem mom will fill out the application or write the resume and go to the job interview with you. I have a friend who is a head hunter for a major company and he tells  me stories of applicants who come to interviews with their moms. Mom actually sits in and will answer questions! To me that is so sad. In the job arena is where the no score thing will come back to bite us in the butt because not everyone will get a job, so how will that kid handle it? He can’t he has no idea how to handle not getting what he wants.

This is only the tip of the ice burg but my own little pride and joy is calling me so I gotta run and be a parent!