Life is Grand

I have let this blog lay dormant for a while because I have been mommy blogging lately. Jeff is now four months old and progressing so very quickly! I honestly am not sure exactly where the time went! I came back here because honestly I did miss blogging for me and me alone. What I mean by that is I am not updating family with this blog, this is where I can write for me. I can say what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love keeping Michael’s family updated on what is happening with pictures and words, but I miss just sitting down with my lap top and writing about what ever comes into my head. So, here I am today.

Today is Michael’s birthday and he is working. He finally found a job that gives him decent hours and pay. He works like 16-18 hours a day most days but I know he does it for us. If I were to put Jeff in daycare, then find a job, my paycheck would be eaten by daycare basically. So, right now, I am a Stay at Home Mom. Honestly, that is the hardest job I have ever had. Especially now.

Life is good right now and I am happy. I am still in constant pain every single day, but I am working on that. My doctor has told me if I lose approximately ten pounds that it would make a huge difference. So, I am struggling to lose weight again. If it does not help, then we move forward with more medical tests to find out what is going on with me. I am still so very tired, but now I have an infant to show for it and people seem to understand better why I am tired all the time.

Things between Michael and I were tested by his mother of all people earlier this week. She did not know that she was walking on thin ice, but we got through it and are better because of it. We talked about the issue at hand which had something to do with his ex-wife and we got through it with no problem. My relationship with Michael is so different than those before it, we actually communicate with each other. Take the time to talk about things and make sure that we are on the same page as it were. I tell him everything and don’t keep secrets, something that I have never done before. It is nice to be able to tell him everything.

Well, I gotta run, Jeff is playing my song!

-Ciao!

Big Changes

Jeffery MichaelSo, since Sunday my life has turned upside down! I can not believe that I now have a son. He is amazingly perfect and I have not really ever felt so bonded with a child in my life! I just look at him sometimes and I am amazed that he is mine. I have a second chance that I have wanted to prove that I am a good mom. Yeah, I made mistakes with my other kids and I know I will make mistakes with him, but I think I am more able to handle being a mom now than I was then.  I have more patience now and I have more experience under my belt as well. 

I have been back and forth to the doctor with him since we got him out of the hospital. I actually have to go back today at 3:15. He is jaundiced and had to stay an extra night to do light therapy. He still looks rather yellow and they did another blood test yesterday. The number was way under the light therapy limit, but up from when we left the hospital.

I am trying to breast feed him, but because I had to leave him in the hospital they supplemented with formula and gave him a pacifier. Which when you are trying to teach your baby to breast feed, they are not really supposed to have. So, now I am seeing a lactation nurse to help him to relearn to breast feed. Before he had to do light therapy he was breast feeding like a rock star!

To say that it is frustrating it an understatement. I am going to work on it. My soon to be in-laws are amazing! They are so wonderful and have sent so much to Jeff already. Tonight we are supposed to Skype with them so they can see him. They live in California, so it is not like they are close. Hopefully the doctor appointment goes well today. I am so tired of going there already!

I have my own appointment next month to get checked out. He was born breach, so that was hard on mom’s body. Michael was here when he was born as he was in a hurry to get here and was born at home! No drugs! So I feel after that, I can do anything… Well, I need to run..

-Ciao