Labels..

I am honestly not sure why as humans we feel the need to label every single thing. Oh, wait yes, I do. We do it so that we can feel safe and happy. We label things so that we can put them in those little boxes we all have and then once things have a label, they will never be able to change. I feel like this is done with people as well. I try hard to keep an open mind and not judge or label. It is human nature to want to do so. ( Trust me, there are a lot of psychological studies on this and I had to read many).

I guess the reason I am so against labeling things and people is because it was done to me and then no matter how I changed, those labels never did.. People used them to define me and put me in their little boxes and when I had enough, I left. Yep. Up and left. No telling anyone anything. *Poof* Elvis has left the building, ya’all.

While that was most likely an overly dramatic way to make my point, it felt good. Starting over with what I could basically fit in the car. Bringing important things with me and leaving stuff that was no longer me behind. The further away I got the freer I felt. Now, honestly, I do not recommend picking up and leaving every time something is not 100% right because life is a process, much like therapy, you have to put the work in to get good stuff out.

For me, back then, there was no choice. I had enough. No one was letting me out of my box to grow (that includes my own mother). I wanted to go to school and people told me that I could not make it. Well, they were wrong. I have degrees. Well, 1 and 1/2 of them. The fact that those people never wanted to help me and always called me when they needed help because they knew I would be there, that showed me that I was right, it was time to go.

Sometimes, life is about change. Changing your friends, changing jobs, houses, schools, etc… Other times it about changing your life. Back then, my life needed changing. I did not like who I was becoming and the only way to fix that was to get away from those who I was becoming.

It did me a world of good, but because I was in hurry to make my great escape, I failed to see what I was getting into. Nothing horribly bad, but a relationship that went no where for a very long time because I had no place to go and he did not want to be alone. My life is now great, I have a beautiful son. A husband who loves me dearly. Life is good! Don’t get me wrong, we have hard times and easy times.. but right now, is the best my life has been. I am truly happy and not trying to convince myself everything is okay. I am content for the first time in my life. Not looking for the next best thing.

I am still trying to understand why we label every little thing in this life, but for now I am just going to say because it is what we as humans do. Sad explanation, I know. Just as a disclaimer, not every one labels or judges, I for one do not.

-Ciao!

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We Moved and the STORY

Okay we have safely moved and as I promised I will tell the story on how we got into that big mess in the first place. First of all let me be absolutely clear here, my hubby is an amazing man who works as much as possible so that I can stay home with our child and take care of him. Not to mention day care is insanely expensive and honestly I did it with my first 2 kids and regretted it. Anyway, back to the story… The place where we lived, I will call it the Bad Place had been taken over by another property management company a couple of years ago. I was willing to give them a chance because when they took over there were renovations going on and it was chaotic at best. Fast forward 2 years and it is still chaotic and there is ABSOLUTELY no communication between the office staff and the renter. Which is a bad thing.

We were late with the rent in February. We knew we would have to pay late fees and such and had accepted it. Hubby went to the office and talked to them about it. By the time he talked to them they had already FILED eviction papers with the court! Where we live there is a law that hurries evictions through in about 2 weeks. Yes, I know in other places (states and even other counties my state) they usually take 30 days or more, but not here. I looked into it. This was on Feb. 13th when we found out about this. They give us until the 6th to be late every month and since hubby gets paid every single week, we were hoping to have the rent. The reason for this happening is simple, We had to choose between rent and food. In my state we do not qualify for any kind of assistance, even though hubby is with National Guard.. This is honestly the first state I have ever lived in where we did not qualify for ANY kind of help at all. Food is expensive. Electricity is expensive. We had cut the electric bill as far down as we could unless we never had any thing on or plugged in except for the appliances. We were doing laundry once a week. No dishwasher. Making sure all the lights were not on if not being used. Shut computers totally off at night and flipping the switch on the power strip too.

Hubby makes a pretty decent check, but it was that pesky eating thing that was killing us! Not to mention in my state you HAVE to have renter’s insurance. Each property is different with amounts they want you to carry, but it is an extra expense. We did not have cable (got rid of it) changed Internet providers to a cheaper one. And yet here we were not able to pay rent. I am not exactly sure how that works. I know that with a child, it is even more expensive. Diapers, wipes, clothes… We get help from wonderful friends and family, but we have to bare some of the burden too. I get diapers online and they are so cheaper than in store, free shipping. My son is growing fast so clothes are essential for him.

We don’t have a car, so none of those expenses, but it is $30 a month for hubby’s bus pass. And if I need to go someplace then there is more bus fare or if God forbid the place is not on a bus line, a cab. Which is very expensive! It is hard living our life. We DO NOT go out. No movies, no dinners, no date night.. NOTHING. Yet, our relationship is strong and we are happy. Yeah I would LOVE to hire a babysitter and have an hour to do what I want, but it costs money. Since we moved we are paying less for rent, about $20 less for more space. April rent is free due to signing a long term lease in the new place. But back to the STORY.

We had to be in court on Feb 20th. Apparently, not communicating with people is a trend with the people who work at the Bad Place because they did not tell their lawyer some important facts, like we wanted to actually pay our rent, but because they had quickly filed papers, they quickly added $200 extra to the rent, so it went from about $800ish dollars with the late fees to being over $1000. No way we could afford that! Also forgot to mention the kid. Yep. The kid. They knew because when hubby would take him into the office to pay said rent, they would all oooo and ahhhh over him. They wanted us out on the 28th. We were asking for March 13th. We settled on March 6th by 5pm. If we were gone before that, then the Bad Place would not pursue the judgement against hubby and have to eat all $1000+ in rent and fees.

You bet your booty we were gone lock stock and barrel by the 4th. Cleaned it up on the 5th and returned the keys. Now honestly all the stress during all this made me feel worse than I had already. I was not sleeping and it was difficult to eat or even do anything. On the days we were moving out of the Bad Place, they decided to schedule the new appliance installations, but between a sign on the door and a conversation with the renovation team, they did not get in our way.. Yes, bad things happen to good families. I am grateful that a program helped us get the deposit together for the new place. I am grateful that I have such a wonderful hubby and I am grateful to my wonderfully amazing son as well..

I gotta run..

-Ciao!