I have let this blog lay dormant for a while because I have been mommy blogging lately. Jeff is now four months old and progressing so very quickly! I honestly am not sure exactly where the time went! I came back here because honestly I did miss blogging for me and me alone. What I mean by that is I am not updating family with this blog, this is where I can write for me. I can say what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love keeping Michael’s family updated on what is happening with pictures and words, but I miss just sitting down with my lap top and writing about what ever comes into my head. So, here I am today.
Today is Michael’s birthday and he is working. He finally found a job that gives him decent hours and pay. He works like 16-18 hours a day most days but I know he does it for us. If I were to put Jeff in daycare, then find a job, my paycheck would be eaten by daycare basically. So, right now, I am a Stay at Home Mom. Honestly, that is the hardest job I have ever had. Especially now.
Life is good right now and I am happy. I am still in constant pain every single day, but I am working on that. My doctor has told me if I lose approximately ten pounds that it would make a huge difference. So, I am struggling to lose weight again. If it does not help, then we move forward with more medical tests to find out what is going on with me. I am still so very tired, but now I have an infant to show for it and people seem to understand better why I am tired all the time.
Things between Michael and I were tested by his mother of all people earlier this week. She did not know that she was walking on thin ice, but we got through it and are better because of it. We talked about the issue at hand which had something to do with his ex-wife and we got through it with no problem. My relationship with Michael is so different than those before it, we actually communicate with each other. Take the time to talk about things and make sure that we are on the same page as it were. I tell him everything and don’t keep secrets, something that I have never done before. It is nice to be able to tell him everything.
Well, I gotta run, Jeff is playing my song!
So, since Sunday my life has turned upside down! I can not believe that I now have a son. He is amazingly perfect and I have not really ever felt so bonded with a child in my life! I just look at him sometimes and I am amazed that he is mine. I have a second chance that I have wanted to prove that I am a good mom. Yeah, I made mistakes with my other kids and I know I will make mistakes with him, but I think I am more able to handle being a mom now than I was then. I have more patience now and I have more experience under my belt as well.
I have been back and forth to the doctor with him since we got him out of the hospital. I actually have to go back today at 3:15. He is jaundiced and had to stay an extra night to do light therapy. He still looks rather yellow and they did another blood test yesterday. The number was way under the light therapy limit, but up from when we left the hospital.
I am trying to breast feed him, but because I had to leave him in the hospital they supplemented with formula and gave him a pacifier. Which when you are trying to teach your baby to breast feed, they are not really supposed to have. So, now I am seeing a lactation nurse to help him to relearn to breast feed. Before he had to do light therapy he was breast feeding like a rock star!
To say that it is frustrating it an understatement. I am going to work on it. My soon to be in-laws are amazing! They are so wonderful and have sent so much to Jeff already. Tonight we are supposed to Skype with them so they can see him. They live in California, so it is not like they are close. Hopefully the doctor appointment goes well today. I am so tired of going there already!
I have my own appointment next month to get checked out. He was born breach, so that was hard on mom’s body. Michael was here when he was born as he was in a hurry to get here and was born at home! No drugs! So I feel after that, I can do anything… Well, I need to run..
I have not been around lately because well, let’s face it, life has a way of happening and screwing up the best laid plans. There is something that I heard that has always rang true for me and that is “Man plans, God laughs”. If that is true, then I must have been truly hilarious lately. An update on the issues with the construction stuff going on, the roofing company has said that they are not responsible for the over $1,000 electric bill we are looking at now with all the late fees and charges. I am inclined to believe them because they were only here for a week or so. The siding company however, is another story altogether. Apparently they have been plugging into vacant apartments and running up $100 bills there. Of course they are denying that they are doing it. Seriously. Now, they are saying that the meters for the electric company must be wrong. So the property management company for this place had a tech come out this morning to look at the meters to make sure they are okay. In any case, if the meters are damaged, it is their fault because they have been around pulling siding off and replacing it. They messed up the outside socket for the electric for this apartment and they messed up the light right outside the front door too. Need I say more?
Personally, I think that they are just trying to get out of paying the bill that they created. I am waiting to hear what the outcome of the meter inspection is as of now. I am contemplating complaining about this company to the local BBB. I want people to know what kind of company these people are. I am tired of dealing with this and I am so over it!!
Other than that, it has been pretty good here except that we both were sick. That was a trial, but better now finally. We had some issues with money because of all the electric bill issues. They are back under control now and thanks to Army Boy’s parents who helped us a great deal, it is all taken care of. Which makes me happy. All of this crap has made my PTSD worst and honestly I was not on FB or really even talking to anyone much. I had nothing to say. It was hard getting through all that.
Army Boy has gotten me back into WoW (World of War craft) So, I have been there playing a lot lately. It is nice to take out my frustration on things to kill in the game. I am sleeping better some days. Which is helpful. Well, I am going to run.
Since the weather was nice Tuesday we are back to cold and grey here in Kentucky. The problem with this is that now both Army Boy and I are sick. He is worst off than me at this point, but it is hard to deal with. I was up until 5am this morning taking care of him. I do this willingly because he does it for me as well.
The other bad thing, is that dealing with the cold, really hurts me because I have arthritis in my knees, back, hips, ankles and feet. So when it gets cold, I have trouble with stiffness and everything is sore. I hate it but I deal because well, I don’t really have much of a choice there. LOL.
Some of my new reality is that my body does not regulate temperature like it should at the moment. It has only happened a handful of times so far, with of course today being one of those days. So, I am in sweat pants, socks, and clothes to keep me warm for now. I also just turned the heat up to 73. Normally because our place is so small, we keep it at 71. Today will be a battle for sure. I am going to try and make chicken noodle soup for dinner. Not the kind from a can either. I have some left over chicken and since it is so chilly out and neither one of us is feeling well, sounds like a good dinner.
Last night I had a grilled ham and cheese that Army Boy made. He makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches! I had some left over cheesy garlic mashed potatoes for lunch. They were good, but since I am not feeling well, I only had a little bit. I am so tired still because I was up at like 9:30am with Army Boy getting ready for school. So, soon it will be nap time.
Yesterday ( today to me because I have not really been to sleep as of yet) was a much better day for us than Monday. Army Boy got to his classes on time and it was sunny out for once. The issue that I now see is that we will have to get a desk for the living room for him to do his homework at. Right now we are both wireless and in the bed room where the TV is. That is the major issue. While I can multi task and work with the TV on he can’t. He is distracted. So I see I will have to move him out to the other room.
Tomorrow is his longest day, 2 classes and his lab for anatomy. The other speed bump we hit is that his lap top does not have Microsoft Office on it. In fact, I have the disk, but can’t put it on his lap top period, because it does not have a disk drive. So, being the wonderful wife I am, I put it back on my lap top and told him that when he needed to use it he could just grab my lap top and use Office.
At least for now anyway. The last few days have been crazy and I am looking forward to getting into a routine of some kind. My sleeping patterns are all over the map and I am really getting tired of it. Army Boy made dinner tonight, which was French toast. I ate and it was good. By 11pm I was tired, so we went to bed. I woke up a bit before 3am and now of course can’t go back to sleep yet. Ugh. Although I am yawning as I write this so maybe there is hope.
There are winter advisories for my state but not in my area, which tells me that soon the bottom will be falling out of the nice weather here. Eh, no matter. It is winter after all. I am thinking of making my own herb garden, but most likely will not do this until Spring. I saw something on Face book on how to make a mason jar herb garden and since I have a window sill in the bed room that is pretty much free, I was thinking about it.
Well, I think I am going to attempt to sleep some more. Army Boy doesn’t have to be in class until 3:30pm and I have some stuff I need to get printed for him anyway.
Today was the worst day that I have had in a very long time! Whatever could go wrong today did. Seriously. Army Boy missed orientation for his job then they told him that his security clearance thing was not done, which it was. I watched him input all the information on the website. He came home and could not get on that site to look at it . Apparently he lost his password and the recover password was not working for him.
Then he missed his first class today. Ugh. He missed half of the second class and ended up going to a lab he was not scheduled for. Sigh. Not to mention it rained so much today so he was wet all day long. I felt so inept to help him and I hate that feeling.
He has two classes tomorrow/today starting at 12:30pm. I am hoping that it is better for him. I had a very bad night and it translated into a a very bad day. I made dinner at least, so that is a plus. I can’t sleep because of the pain again. Ugh. I hate that. I am going to leave you with the video for the song of this entry.
I found out yesterday that where we live is VERY unhappy with the company doing the construction around here. There have been numerous complaints aside from us and they are 3 WEEKS behind schedule. Today, we caught them plugged into our electric again and took another picture. They left piles of garbage and construction debris in front of our patio out back as well.
I know they have a job to do and I understand that, but they have seriously screwed up here. My outdoor lights in the breezeway by my front door are totally out now. Which means that when someone knocks on the door at night I can not see who is at the door. AT.ALL. I find that a serious hazard to me, especially if I am home alone at night.
Not to mention they have piles and piles of dangerous construction debris all over the place as well. A lot of people are very upset about the horrendous noise so early in the morning too. Glad to know it is not just me that is upset about all this. So because they are so far behind, they will now be working Sundays. My one quiet day. Ugh. I am unhappy about this but I do understand that they faster they catch up the faster they will be gone totally. So, I will grit my teeth and deal with it all for now. Apparently we are getting a credit on our rent for February because of the electric bill thing. Now that we have proof they are doing it again, maybe March too.
Tomorrow I am going to see if I can take some pictures of all the stuff going on here. I am tired of being the nice one.
I need to run, I have the migraine from hell from all the noise and weather.